Pause for a moment and reflect: when you think about your manager, what feelings and thoughts surface? I've engaged in countless conversations within the tech community, probing into the dynamics between leaders and their teams. Surprisingly, or perhaps not so much, glowing endorsements of management are the exception rather than the rule. This revelation is always intriguing to me. In an ideal scenario, leaders embody excellence; they are the figures we admire and strive to emulate. However, reality often paints a different picture. The silver lining? Many of these leadership shortcomings stem not from malice but from a lack of awareness or knowledge of better practices.
With this in mind, I'm excited to dive into three toxic leadership traits that I've identified through my interactions. These traits are particularly insidious because they can easily go unnoticed or even be unwittingly adopted. Recognizing and addressing these traits could be the key to transforming yourself into the leader your team not only respects but aspires to become. This exploration is not just about critiquing what's wrong; it's about offering a pathway to leadership that uplifts and inspires, opening the door to a more dynamic and positive team environment.
Unclear Expectations
It's a scenario many leaders face: you guide your team towards a goal, they work tirelessly and report back with what they perceive as stellar results, yet you're left feeling underwhelmed. The discrepancy often lies in the clarity of the initial expectations. Despite believing you've communicated the objectives effectively, the reality might reveal a lack of precision in your instructions.
A practical method to evaluate the clarity of your expectations is to check for their documentation. If you struggle to find a clear, written record of the goals and guidelines, it's a sign that the expectations were not as transparent as needed.
Leaders frequently rely on verbal communication during meetings to set expectations. However, acknowledging the limitations of this approach is crucial for success. The solution? Invest the necessary time to meticulously document the objectives, context, and rationale, ensuring your team has a definitive understanding of their mission. Encourage them to review this documentation and discuss their interpretations before embarking on their tasks.
By dedicating effort to establishing clear expectations, you not only circumvent a common leadership pitfall but also significantly enhance your team's potential for success. This commitment to clarity in communication is a powerful tool in elevating your leadership effectiveness and fostering an environment where your team can truly excel.
Unwillingness to Listen to Feedback
Choosing the term "unwillingness" captures the essence of how teams often view leaders who falter in handling feedback. I’ve yet to run into any leader who would say they are unwilling to listen to feedback. From the leader's perspective, the insistence on "holding the bar high" or the quest for "more data" before deeming feedback valid might feel correct, but can lead teams to fear speaking up.
Acknowledging the challenge of providing feedback is crucial. Consider the daunting task of approaching a leader, whose decisions can influence your livelihood, to share potentially unwelcome thoughts. The gravity of this act cannot be overstated.
How leaders respond to feedback can either open the door to future insights or seal it shut. If the initial attempt to offer feedback results in an interrogation, dismissal, or, worse, punitive measures, expect that to be the last time feedback is offered by that individual.
Elevating how feedback is received — regardless of its nature or the discomfort it may bring — is a non-negotiable for leaders aspiring to excellence. Embrace all feedback with gratitude, ensuring the giver feels truly heard and validated. This doesn't obligate you to act on every piece of feedback but to exercise discernment. By creating an environment where every team member feels their input is valued, you not only foster psychological safety but also ensure you're leading with a clear vision, free from the constraints of your blind spots.
Lack of Empathy
Empathy is defined as, “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Poor leaders can often confuse empathy with weakness. There can be a sense that if I empathize with the team then I might lose control and authority. Or that in some way you could be lowering the bar or accepting excuses. You might conjure images of Elon Musk demanding, no matter the situation or cost, and with no empathy, the team deliver the Cybertruck on time (which it wasn’t).
Empathy isn’t a weakness, but a requirement for great leadership. Empathy fosters a supportive and understanding environment. When team members feel their leader genuinely cares about their well-being, it strengthens trust and cohesion, which are essential for collaborative success.
When leaders show empathy, they create a safe space for their team members to express ideas and take risks. Knowing that their leader will support them, even if they fail, encourages innovation and creative problem-solving.
Things are always changing, especially now and especially in technology. In some ways, your success is a measure of your ability to capitalize on change. Empathetic leaders can sense the team's mood and morale, making it easier to guide them through periods of change. Their supportive approach helps alleviate fears and resistance, ensuring smoother transitions.
I hope as you reflect on these 3 toxic traits of leaders, you can use this information as “red flags” in your leadership. These are easy traps for any leader to fall into, but it's clear that the journey towards excellence is paved not with rigid adherence to authority or inflexible practices, but with the cultivation of empathy, open communication, and the courage to listen. Leadership is not a monologue but a dialogue — one that thrives on mutual respect, understanding, and the shared pursuit of excellence.
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